Saturday, February 06, 2010

sometimes it's hard

“Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.”

This is something I don’t really like to talk about, but I’m having an urge to. Sometimes it’s nice to express to no one in particular what you’re feeling.

I realize that I’m not the most fit person, or the most pretty, and I rarely take time to make myself look nice, and I know what physical things about myself I don’t like. In every past relationship I’ve had, the guy tells me how pretty I am and how lucky they are to be with me. True, it made me feel good, but I never really saw what they saw. I have never thought of my self as one of the “pretty girls.” It’s still hard for me to take those kinds of compliments. I’m not sure why that is.

People tell me that I’m stupid for feeling that I’m not good enough. I do sometimes wish I were one of those girls who felt comfortable in make-up and dresses and trendy clothes. But, that’s not me. I like wearing t-shirts and jeans and I like it when my hair is messy. I think that’s the best part of being me. Isn’t that what makes me an individual? Isn’t that what makes me me?

Its just hard when you like someone and enjoy the company of someone and they point out to you all the things you know are true. It is really hard to have the one person you love most to point out your flaws.

It was just on my mind.

1 comment:

mrpink said...

after reading this i feel that we are eerily similar. and it's scaring me.