Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Week Three

Hello!

I am now in the middle of week three of the Insanity Workout! I feel great and I'm starting to feel a difference in my strength. Now, Because I see myself in the mirror everyday it is hard to really notice the transformation. I took some pictures and was amazed at the difference from week one!

We have to do a fit test the very first day of insanity and every two weeks after that. Well, at the beginning of this week I did my second fit test and improved on all the exercises! My boss, the one who told me about Insanity, is now in month two with the Max exorcises. I'm quite scared about it just by the way she talks about it. But, I do know that at the end of it I will be in the best shape of my life!

here are week three pics! Sorry my track shorts look funky.






Wednesday, July 20, 2011

week one

Hello there!

Today I just finished day 3 of week one of the Insanity workout. Holy crap! That is exactly what it is, insane! Like I've said before, I've done workout videos before and it always makes me feel like crap when all the people in the video are smiling and acting like its nothing while I'm infront of my tv dying! Not this one! people in the video, while in better shape than me, still need breaks and even the host sometimes sounds like he's out of breath. That really helps me push through and fight to complete the workout. Next thing, I sweat. Now, I have always sweat very easily. My mom told me i was a very sweaty baby. I sweat in any workout that I do, but I have not sweat like this since my track days. It's pretty intense.

I have some before pictures. I have no problem being in a swimsuit infront of my close friends and of course people I will never see again. However, this is not a swimsuit, it's a sports bra and some shorts. It's tough putting it out there and I am a bit self-conscious, but it helps keep me honest in my progress.







Wednesday, July 13, 2011

HElP!

Hello folks! Long time no post!

Just to give you an update on how I am and what has been going on in my life since December. Not much has changed. I still work at Medical Towers at UAB on the Look AHEAD research study and I now work on another study called the Diabetes and Periodontal Therapy Trial (we call it DPTT). Things are going well and I enjoy my work for the most part. I am still teaching voice at Birmingham School of Music and as rewarding it is to see my students grow; I have come to the decision to try something new.

This is where the transformation starts. With me. I have grown dull of my life here in
Birmingham and looking for a change. I have discussed moving, changing jobs, and even auditioning for reality TV. Yes, at the end of this month I will be traveling to Nashville with Ashley A now R to audition for NBC’s The Voice. I don’t have my hopes up to high; I just thought it would be fun and different. That is what I need right now, Different. I want to save my money and move somewhere. I’ve had strong thoughts about moving to Boston because I have family up there. For a different extreme I’ve thought about Florida. I figure I have some time to think about it. And again, I have to save my money.

Change in job and change in location brings me to my next thing and is really the point for
writing this blog today, the change in my physical appearance. Now, I know that in previous blog posts I’ve talked about trying to start a journey with running but it has never worked out for me. I’ve gotten to a 5k but never made it past that. Part of the reason, I feel, is because I haven’t had a partner to push me to make sure I do my running. I think that the only reason I completed the 5k is because my best friend, Kierstyn, did it with me. And the second time my dad was going to run with me but schedules wouldn’t always allow for us to run together. Plus, on top of all that, I hate long-distance running. I was a sprinter in high school. So, on with the point! My boss was telling me that she and her husband are doing this home workout called Insanity. It is similar to P90X, which I’ve always wanted to try, however, with p90x you have to extra equipment and I’m not really down with that. I’ve done the Billy Blanks video workouts and I like it but you have to have extra equipment such as resistant bands. So, I feel like a moron doing this workout without resistance. Lame! Insanity uses your own body for resistance and it also mixes up the workouts so you don’t get too used to it.

This is where you guys come in! It is a 60 day program and I’m going to start Monday the 18th Ill give updates and picture proof of my progress. I need for you guys to stay on me and keep me honest! I need you help to accomplish my goal. Now, I have the motivation I just need help sticking to it. So, come Monday the first part on my transformation starts. I hope your help!

Monday, December 06, 2010

Reality of drama and comedy

Ive been watching a lot of television lately. Ive always loved reality tv. My Mom used to make my bother and I take a break from our homework for "family time" we would all watch Survivor. The other reality tv I would watch with my family included a few seasons of American Idol, Big Brother, and Fear Factor. There is so much more "reality" tv out there now. Over half the shows out there are now "reality". And, Yes, I watch it. I kind of want to list them all just to see how ridiculous it is. Survivor, Big Brother, America's Next Top Model, Bad Girl's Club, MTV's Real World/Road Rules The Challenge, Masterchef, Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, The Girls Next Door, Project Runway, The Biggest Loser, The Amazing Race, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Extreme Makeover Home edition, and Im sure there are more that Im forgetting. Now, I don't watch these every week, or even watch them full season through, but I have before. then there are the non-reality shows, the drama's and comedies. I remember sitting in the living room with my mom and seeing previews for this new series that was about to start so, we decided to watch. We wanted to have something else to look forward to every week. First episode, we were hooked. The first season my mom and I would watch every week but as the seasons progressed, we couldn't watch together. I had gone off to college but we wold still talk about it together and we also introduced it to the rest of our family. It was a good show that had five great seasons. I actually have been told multiple time that I look like one of the characters. The dramas I would watch with my family starting with the one i was just talking about were LOST, 24, Friends, ER, CSI (the original. not the crapy spin offs) and I know there are others I'm missing. But when I went to college I found some of my own favorites some of which are not on the air anymore. Sopranos, Weeds, Californication, Glee, Dexter, Always sunny In Philadelphia, 30 Rock, Dead Like Me, Entourage, Make It or Break it, and more recently.. Mad Men, The Walking Dead, Boardwalk Empire, and the Big C.

I do love my TV and love to talk about it.

Friday, August 06, 2010

I know it’s been a minute since I’ve blogged. And for that, I don’t really apologize. Deal with it. Certain things in my life haven’t gone the way I would have liked for them to, but I guess that’s just life. You win some, you lose some. One thing I’m glad I can count on to be there for me without fail is the support of my friends and my family. I am truly honored to have such amazing people in my life. And, I’d just like to thank you for being awesome because, if you weren’t then we wouldn’t be friends. 

I recently went to the beach with my very good friends Chris and Katie. It was a spontaneous trip. We were having margs and they said they were leaving the next day and asked if I wanted to come. I told them that Id have to make lots of things happen. First, I’d have to ask off work. Second, I’d have to cancel my hair appointment. And third I’d have to cancel lunch with my father and my sister. Needless to say I accomplished all those things. We went to Fort Morgan and had so much fun. It was possibly the best trip I have taken in a long time.

Two weeks later, I went to Panama City with the family. We drove down and met my mom’s brother and his four kids and my mom’s mother. My mom had rented this huge house for the week. It was fun. I hadn’t seen my cousins in a while and it was nice to be down there for the weekend. I couldn’t stay the whole week because I had to be back for work. The time I was down there, however, was very hot but very nice. I got a nice tan, if I do say so myself.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Here we go again

I joined a running group again. Last time I had the aspirations to train all the way to running in the Mercedes half marathon. Needless to say, I didn’t make it. I did however make it to running a 5k. The last time I tried, I had the summer to train and then when school started back I had a hard time making time to run. So, I never finished. This time is different. I have my dad to train with me. I just started the running group and so my dad isn’t training with me now… he’s more advanced and in shape than me… good for him, sad for me. I have had a running background however, so, I feel I’ll be back to my high school shape in no time. In high school I ran cross country and did indoor and outdoor track. I wasn’t much of a fan of running long distances. 100 meter hurdles were my event. I loved sprinting and the nervous anticipation in my gut right before the gun was fired and I would spring out of the starting blocks. I loved the feeling of going over that first hurdle and getting over it, digging my spikes into the track. I loved racing, even though I was the shortest hurdler on the team and usually in the races. During track season, I would have permanent bruises on my knees from hitting the hurdles. I miss it. But, there aren’t any opportunities for me to run hurdles these days. So, distance it is. My mom is in the group I’m in now. She just starts over with them every time they do it. She has no desire to continue on to longer races. So she just keeps training for 5ks. Once we run our first 5k then my dad will pick up and train with me for the Vulcan 10k. and then on the to Mercedes. My dad has done these races and well, to tell you the truth, I’m quite intimidated. He has run the Vulcan, the statue to statue (13k), and the Mercedes. I hope I can keep up.

Wish me luck

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Oh my goodness! It’s close to the middle of April and I haven’t blogged this month! For shame… Well, what to blog, what to blog?

It’s spring time. That means pollen is in the air, on our cars, in our eyes, and you know it’s gotten into other places. Yep. Pollen. For the past week, that’s all I’ve seen on facebook, clever comments and statuses about how the pollen is killing allergies, making blue cars green, making a yellow cloud over Birmingham… WE KNOW! Ye who post updates like that, you are very original and I commend you for your originality. Sigh. Well, today it’s raining. That means the world, and by world I mean Birmingham, washes its hands of pollen. You know how I know? Facebook told me. Even greater sigh. Well, they say, if you cant beat ‘em join ‘em. So my pollen status was my favorite out of them all. It read “- something clever about pollen, blah blah blah.” It was a winner.


I don’t really have any profound thoughts right now. Not that I ever do. It’s just that I haven’t had anything monumental or exciting to post. Not that that has ever stopped me from posting my day to day activities. If you still read my blog and have stuck with me… you must… I don’t know. I think my blog is quite boring. Just a place I go to ramble and ramble. Every now and then something exciting will happen. I’ll write about it. Then, read it back to my self and realize I’m a terrible story teller and who really cares that I stapled my thumb at work today? But, I continue to post. Because, you know, what? I like to go back and read how ridiculous I am. It makes me smile.

So there.

Monday, March 08, 2010

To be stuck in an office on a beautiful day like today BLOWS! Nice weather hits me like a mac truck. I was born in Florida, and in the heart of summer. I’m meant to be outside. The happiest job I’ve ever had was when I was working as a lifeguard at a private pool in Brookhighland. I got to work at 9, pool opened at 10, I worked 30 min shifts on the stand, 30 min at front gate, and 30 min off. I got a nice tan, read tons of books, and got to wear a swimsuit to work. Best. Job. Ever.

Its days like today I miss it so much. To spend all day every day in the sun is the dream.

This Friday I will be driving down to Orlando with Jeremy. His dad lives there. Then Saturday, we’ll drive to Miami for the festival Calle Ocho. I am looking forward to the good food, tasty drinks, and warm sun. I just hope I don’t blind people with my pale skin. Then, either Sunday or Monday, we’ll drive back to Orlando and just hang out. Then BIG St. Patty’s day celebration! Good God, I love being Irish. Green beer and Car bombs! I can’t wait!

I don’t think that this week could go by fast enough… sigh.

Mom update: we had lunch today. I could feel the tension but we are on the right track to becoming friends again.

Happy International Women’s day, Commonwealth Day, Adelaide Cup day, Eight Hours day, and Taranaki Anniversary!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

my sign

It scares me how accurate this is

There's one thing the Leo woman probably owns that you won't like. A scrapbook of pictures and mementos from all her old boyfriends. It's no use trying to get her to burn it, because the lioness is sentimental.
She's not a wallflower. She's a sunflower. Chances are she's ridiculously popular, and you'll have plenty of competition if you want her to descend to using your name for the rest of her life. You will be a few leaps ahead if your name is St. Hoyme or Mountbatten, Cabot or Lodge. Anything that sounds royal or noble or important. I honestly can't imagine a Leo woman marrying anybody with the name Carbunkle or Smith. It's possible. Anything is possible. But she'll probably change Smith to Smythe.
Most likely, she'll be the social leader of her group, lording it over lesser women like a queen, but with such disarming warmth and such a beautiful smile, no one really minds. Perhaps the other girls sense she was born to rule and dictate styles, customs and manners. Anyway, it wouldn't do much good to try to usurp her authority.
Nature seems to have shown some prejudice when she fashioned the lioness with enough vivacity, cleverness, grace, beauty, and just plain sex appeal for at least three women, with some left over. If you're the victim of an inferiority complex, you'd better set your sights on a bird with less brilliant feathers. Don't expect to tame her into a docile little maid who hangs on your every word. The man who expects a Leo girl to worship at his feet is living in a fool's paradise. Consider yourself lucky if she meets you halfway, respects you, is willing to be your partner and allows you to possess her emotionally. By the very act of permitting you to love her, she's practically knighted you, for heaven's sake. Seriously, you could do-a lot worse. A lioness is a lot of woman. She's rather a luxury item, not available in the bargain basement.
It pays to remember that the Leo female can act up a storm, and pretend to be as sweet and harmless as a bowl of jelly beans. She may have a voice like a whisper, gentle, courteous manners and big, soft eyes that sparkle delightfully when she bats her lashes. A Leo female can appear to be as smooth and calm as a cool and placid lake. On guard. That's just a role she assumed because it got good reviews. Remove her as the star of your love production, cast her in the part of the understudy or second lead, and you'll soon find out just how shy and submissive she isn't. Of course, most of the Leo women to whom you pay homage will openly make it clear that they're too proud and dignified to take any nonsense. I'd just hate to see you stumble in case you get involved with the other kind of lioness, who hides her claws, but sharpens them every day just the same.
The first step when you're courting this girl is to go prepared with gifts. It doesn't make much difference what they a-e, so long as they're expensive, in excellent taste, and you're dressed properly when you offer them. Then you should practice different ways of complimenting her. Please be original and creative. Phrases like "You send me, Baby," and "You're really cool, sweetheart," will get you thrown right out of the palace, back with the peasants, Vulgarity and slang both leave her ice cold. Remember, you're wooing royalty. She can't exist without flattering appreciation, but keep in mind that she admires your masculinity, and she has no desire to turn you into a henpecked weakling. A Leo woman couldn't love you if you weren't strong. It's just that she won't permit you to insult her with a condescending attitude. In her mind, she is definitely not the weaker sex.
Lots of Leo girls are athletic and enjoy sports, but you'd be smarter to take your lioness to the theater than to the ball park. The stage and footlights will never fail to magnetize and transfigure her. (Better buy orchestra seats. Forget the balcony.) Choose a play in which the heroine behaves the way you want her to behave that night, and your chances are better than average that she'll act the part unconsciously and never miss an inflection. After the festivities are over, don't take her to a hamburger stand and expect her to sit at the counter munching french fries because she's so much in love with you. You're better off to take her out less often to more glamorous places. She's not necessarily a gold digger; in fact, she's usually generous -she won't object to frequent Dutch dates and she'll probably shower you with almost as many gifts as you give her. But she's just plain uncomfortable in shabby surroundings. The poorest Leo woman in the world will manage to accumulate enough pennies to buy draperies for the windows, rings for her fingers and bells for her toes. Now and then she may go slumming, out of curiosity, but only as a spectator, aloof from the crowd. Poverty depresses her and makes her physically ill. If you dress like a slob and offer her a shack, you haven't got a chance.
There's a story about a noble Frenchwoman who turned to her lover in the gardens of Versailles and asked, "Darling, do the common people know this exquisite emotion of love?" When she was assured that they did, she cried out in injured surprise, "It's entirely too good for them!" She was probably a Leo.
Don't blame the lioness for her occasional arrogance and vanity. It's her nature to feel herself above the common masses. People seldom resent it, because the Leo woman who's warmly loved and respected can be the kindest and most generous of females, with a womanly compassion for children and for the helpless and the forsaken. You can't really expect her to step down from a throne that's her birthright. If she's a typical Sun child, she's so gracious and dazzling that most people gladly give her credit for being out of the ordinary. Truthfully, she is. She's intelligent, witty, strong, and capable, yet deliciously feminine at the same time. No one in his right mind could call that common.
A little flattery will get you everywhere with your Leo lady. You've already found out it's her secret weakness. And here's another secret, if you plan to marry her:
Eventually, she'll tire of her gilded cage and want to roam the jungle to see what's doing with all the other cats out there. Confinement inside four walls and under one roof can soon rob her of her sparkle. Let her have her career. Shell wither on the vine if she's forced to be just a haus-frau, unless you have enough money to allow her to be a constant hostess and an extravagant home decorator.
The Leo girl usually makes a jewel of a wife. You'll seldom see her dressed frumpily in a tatty bathrobe, wearing curlers and wrinkle cream. Not that she skips the beauty treatments. The typical lioness will spend hours in front of the mirror and a fortune on cosmetics, but she wants you to see the results, not the strategy. There may be times when you feel you're supporting her hairdresser's entire family. Many a husband of a Leo woman finds himself pleading, "Honey, do you have to spend so much money at the beauty parlor?" But few lionesses like to do their own hair. A shampoo and set makes them feel pampered, and feeling pampered does something for every Leo.
Unless she has a Cancer, Virgo or Capricorn ascendant, you may have to watch her with charge accounts. Leos easily slip overboard when it comes to spending for fine feathers, furnishings for the home or gifts for friends. Her wardrobe can be quite extensive. She can look luscious in evening gowns, dripping with sequins and rhinestones, or low-cut, dressy outfits. But she'll probably prefer casual clothes and sportswear, if she's a typical Leo girl. She likes tailored cuts and rich materials, but not necessarily frills and ruffles. Soft cashmeres, good Italian knits and imported English tweeds are her favorites. Her taste is usually excellent, if a bit expensive. An occasional Leo woman will overdo and bury her sense of style in gaudy, shocking clothes, but she's an exception to the general rule of the traditional leonine exquisite flair for fashion.
You'll find her a superb hostess when you bring the boss home for dinner. He'll think you're a genius to have won her. She'll probably make a hit with his wife, too, because the lioness is popular with both men and women, and each sex gets treated to her friendly smile and her outgoing personality equally. Anyone who happens to be standing in her bright sunlight feels the warmth. Leos seldom cast a shadow.
As a mother, shell pour love on her children generously and lavish affection on them. It won't be easy for her to see their faults, but when she does, she'll be strict. Since she can't stand being taken for granted, if the children don't respect her she can pout in regal silence. Many Leo mothers have a peculiar way of spoiling the child without sparing the rod, quite a contradiction when you think about it. She may romp and play with her cubs, have long, chummy talks with them, but she'll also teach them to snap to attention like soldiers, polish their manners, and be obedient to their elders. At the same time, there's a danger of providing a shade too much spending money, and giving in to requests for luxuries. In a way, you might say she treats her offspring like petted members of a royal family, deeply loved, but expected to mind their p's and q's, especially in public. She'll be fiercely proud of their accomplishments, and heaven help the outsider who attempts to hurt them or judge them unfairly. With all this, she won't smother the youngsters. She's too independent to hover over them every second. She'll lead her own life, keeping a watchful eye out for her cubs, from a distance. Many Leo women are working mothers, but their youngsters seldom starve for attention. The career-minded Leos usually manage to balance motherhood and a job with perfect aplomb.
There are times when she'll lose her dignity and poise and become a rollicking, playful lioness, with a flair for pure slapstick. She can roar with laughter like a healthy animal, but when the moment is gone, the satin voice and regal bearing return. No one can squelch a fresh remark or a rude question with as much cold contempt as a Leo female. She doesn't appreciate familiarity from strangers. Although she'll clown around and be surprisingly casual with intimates, outsiders are expected to keep their place.
In the area of faithfulness, the Leo woman may remind you of the old toast, "Here's to me and here to you, and here's to love and laughter-I'll be true as long as you- not a single minute after." Enough said.
Don't be jealous of her knack for being the center of attention in a roomful of admiring males. Heads always turn when the lioness smoothly glides by. She feels it's only natural for men to pay court to her. She may encourage masculine compliments and indulge in light, innocent flirtations, because her deep need for applause and adulation covers a strange fear that she's not feminine enough and she must constantly reassure herself that she's desirable. It doesn't mean she's not still in love with you, just because she smiles at your best friend and tells him she adores his new sports jacket. But don't try telling her best friend you like her new shirt. That's a whole different ball game. What's sauce for the gander is not sauce for the goose, to reverse the old nursery rhyme. If she hears you call your secretary anything much more intimate than "Miss What's-her-name," your purring kitten may scratch.
Of course, it's not fair. But if you want to be the proud possessor of all those gorgeous brilliantly-colored feathers, you have to make a few concessions. After all, owning a peacock is hardly the same thing as owning a cuckoo bird or a cooing pigeon. Humor her vanity. She'll probably be important in her own right, because few Leo women can resist competing with men for prestige, if not income. Your lioness could be anything from an actress to a surgeon.
One of my best friends and favorite Leos is a well-known New York psychiatrist. Granted, it's a career which permits her to lecture and advise (Leo's favorite pastime), but she gives her counsel with such a warm smile, sparkling eyes and deep compassion, her patients feel better just being in the same room with her. Her husband pays her all the respect and adoration she demands as her royal right, but he has a profession of his own to match hers. He's a gifted writer and poet, talents which always impress the sentimental Leo. They share equal billing in front of the footlights, yet he's the man and the boss behind the scenes. A perfect success formula for taming the lioness.
And that's the key to a smooth relationship with your Leo girl. Don't let her smother you-but don't try to top her. Just paste a big, bright star on her dressing room door, and puff up your ego. You're quite a guy, you know-to have won the hand of the proud lioness. Tell me, how did you manage to do it?

Monday, February 22, 2010

It sucks when your mother doesn’t like you.

So, for almost a month now my mother has not liked me. She tells me she loves me, then I say, “but you don’t like me” then she says, “well… true”.

It all happened on a Wednesday. I had been driving her to her appointments at Kirklin Clinic. That’s no big deal, we work together downtown and I just drive her car drop her off then drive back to work. Total time away from work = not even ten min. But, this one particular day she needed someone to drive her to Crown Royal in Vestavia so she can pick up her car. Now, I teach about two seconds away from Crown and on Wednesdays I teach at 5:30. My mother called asking for a ride. I told her I’m leaving at 5 to go teach you can get a ride with me when I go. She then tells me that she has a class at 5:30, so, that won’t work. Then, she asks if I can just take her now. I say It doesn’t make sense for me to drive 20 min there and 20 min back then just have to leave again, getting stuck in traffic. She then tells me that I’m not doing anything right now and I have the time. All the while I’m thinking, yes, I’m not busy now but I’m still at my job. Yes, you are my mother and we work together and it’s convenient for you, but it’s not for me. She finally gets mad and tells me she will ask my father to come pick her up. She’s mad. End Wednesday.

Thursday I get an email titled inconvenience. In the email she tells me… “Yes, I am angry that you are not willing to help me out with my car situation today. I called dad and he was in the middle of getting his own car serviced and could not come and get me. I called the shop and after waiting on hold for 10 minutes then getting transferred 3 times, they are sending a car to get me. This situation has left me frustrated and unhappy. In order to keep free of these frustrated feelings I will try to avoid asking for your assistance in the future.”

In the email, she was very formal. So, I sent a formal reply… “I am sorry that you were inconvenienced today. Right after I got off the phone with you the helpdesk called and I had to deal with them. I just hope you realize that you can ask for assistance in the future you just may not always get the answer you would like. This is true of anyone you would ask. I’m sure there will be times when I am turned down in asking assistance of you. However, if you choose not to ask assistance I will respect your decision. And, I too will not ask anything of you. It just seems fair. I understand your frustration and again I am sorry. “

This reply seemed to upset her even more. She also showed it to my father and my brother. They have also voiced their disappointment in me. My little sister, whom I know will love me no matter what, told me that my mother thinks I had help from my boss in writing the reply. Now, that offends me. Am I not allowed to sound smart?

Two weeks later, after she hadn’t replied to my apologies, I went to her and asked if she was still mad. She gave me very short answers and, finally told me that she has to work on keeping work and home separate. So now, she only speaks to me if it’s related to work. She doesn’t act like I’m her daughter; we don’t go to lunch anymore, and I can tell she is still mad.

I’ve told her when she’s ready to like me again that I’m here. It’s getting old. But she can hold a grudge like no one I’ve ever seen. I’m just glad I don’t live at home with them. I couldn’t bear having to come home to a hostile environment.

I’ve told her I’m sorry that I’m sorry I inconvenienced her, I’ve told her I’m sorry I hurt her feelings with the email, and I’ve given a general apology to cover anything I missed in translation. Am I forgiven? No. But she has accepted my apology. Do I miss her? Yes. But she won’t come around anytime soon.

Saturday, February 06, 2010

sometimes it's hard

“Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.”

This is something I don’t really like to talk about, but I’m having an urge to. Sometimes it’s nice to express to no one in particular what you’re feeling.

I realize that I’m not the most fit person, or the most pretty, and I rarely take time to make myself look nice, and I know what physical things about myself I don’t like. In every past relationship I’ve had, the guy tells me how pretty I am and how lucky they are to be with me. True, it made me feel good, but I never really saw what they saw. I have never thought of my self as one of the “pretty girls.” It’s still hard for me to take those kinds of compliments. I’m not sure why that is.

People tell me that I’m stupid for feeling that I’m not good enough. I do sometimes wish I were one of those girls who felt comfortable in make-up and dresses and trendy clothes. But, that’s not me. I like wearing t-shirts and jeans and I like it when my hair is messy. I think that’s the best part of being me. Isn’t that what makes me an individual? Isn’t that what makes me me?

Its just hard when you like someone and enjoy the company of someone and they point out to you all the things you know are true. It is really hard to have the one person you love most to point out your flaws.

It was just on my mind.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Hello all!
I hope everyone is having a fantastic February. I can’t believe how fast January flew by. The weeks seem to be moving moderately fast but the days go by slow. ANYWAY.

Not too much has happened in the last few weeks. But, a few things have happened so I shall discuss them.

Work- I am gaining more and more responsibilities at work. It fills up my day more which is good. I was getting tired of twiddling my thumbs. Every Monday and Tuesday I start the morning off with Clinics. Those are always hard to get up for because from now until the end of March I have to be at work on Monday at 6:30. That’s just so early. I do however like how fast Mondays and Tuesdays go by. I killed one of the plants in my office. I’m trying to revive it but it’s not looking good. I think those are all the current events in regards to work.

Teaching- I am acquiring more students. That is good because it pays part of the bills. I am also being faced with the challenge of teaching someone who has absolutely no idea how to sing. She is really sweet and knows she can’t sing but is eager to try. On a side teaching note… The studio that I teach at is having a teacher performance night on February 27. We had our first rehearsal last night. Let me just say… WOW! The way it is going to work is, we all will do a solo piece and then, as of now, we are doing three group songs. EPIC songs. I’m so excited!

Other- I got an iPhone. I love it.

Things to look forward to this month- I’m going to see Umphrey’s McGee next Tuesday. My dad is running the Mercedes Half Marathon. The teacher performance night.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Another day another dollar

After a very relaxing weekend it’s back to the ole grind. I know it Thursday and almost time for another week end but I really haven’t had time to blog until now. I had a great weekend. Friday I got off work two hours early with pay. I am sad to say that right after I left my supervisor texted me to tell me she had gotten me a red velvet cupcake. I have the best co-workers. Because I had the entire afternoon off I went to East Lake to visit with Jeremy. We washed our cars. My car had bird poop all over it so it was nice for it to finally be clean. The rest of my weekend was nice and slow. Saturday I did go see 101 Dalmatians. By far the WORST musical I have ever seen. The story wasn’t the one I’m used to. Yeah, I get that it was based off the book and not the Disney move but come on! The songs were stupid, the theatre was loud and distracting, and out of the whole row of kids sitting in front of us, I got the seat behind the tallest man in the world. Well, maybe not the tallest man in the world but he was pretty freaking tall. The people playing people were on stilts and some of the actors couldn’t walk very well in them and they just looked like they would fall over at any moment. The only plus to the show was when the real Dalmatians ran across the stage and at the end when they did a bunch of tricks. It was really neat because they were all rescue dogs. After the show we went to Botega cafĂ©. That was the part of the evening I was looking forward to. It ended up being a really nice night.

I was off Monday. That was really nice. Tuesday and Wednesday were pretty busy days. I didn’t even have time to get in a chapter in my book. The one I’m reading, not the one I’m writing. I don’t think I’ll ever write a book. ANYWAY, I actually had work to do. Tuesday I got a call from a participant’s daughter looking for the girl whose job I took over. I told her that she doesn’t work here any more and the daughter proceeded to tell me that her mother, the participant had died the day before. Now, I had practiced this type of call, I even sat in the week before on this type of call. But those were thing that you could prepare for and have time to wrap your thoughts around. This was a “catch you off guard” type call. I tried my best to gather all the info I could and I was difficult to hear the sadness in the voice of the daughter. Notifications of Deaths are not that common in this study and we had two in two weeks. After the first one my boss told me that I wouldn’t have to worry about it for a while. Not true. I think given the circumstances I handled myself fairly well.

This warm weather is making me realize that spring is approaching fast and if I want to be swimsuit ready then I need to get my butt moving and shed these winter pounds. My original thought was to do Tae Bo in the morning and Yoga before bed. But after the first two mornings of hitting the snooze button I realized that that wasn’t going to happen so now I’m going to do yoga in the morning and Tae Bo at night and then light yoga before bed. I think yoga in the morning is a great idea because I feel relaxed and awake and calm. Namaste.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

I still have time to blog.

Another week at the new job proves to be more eventful than the last two holiday weeks but still not much for me to do. I had a bigger part in the clinics and have been to a few meetings and now have the duties of making the breakfasts for the participants. But still, some days there is just nothing to do. For instance, Monday, I got to work at 6:30AM for our 7AM clinic. (We have to be there 30min before our first participant.) We had a busy day as far as clinics go. Clinic was over at around 12:15 and then I went to lunch with my mom. After lunch I came back to my office and had nothing to do the rest of the day. So I read this book I have been trying to finish since summer. I read from about 1:15 to about 5:45. At around 5:45 the lights in my office suit went out. It wasn’t the power because my computer was still on. But the light went out and it was very dark and scary because I was the only one left still here. I took that as my queue to leave. I went home and to bed. The next day was definitely more productive. Still, my day wasn’t packed. I’m not sure it ever will be. On Tuesdays I go teach private voice after work. My students were all back this time. So, I was exhausted when I got home. Today in clinic we only had one participant scheduled and my boss wanted me to take him to get practice. I think it went well and I feel good about it. Our participants are very nice and understanding. It makes this learning process very easy.

I’ve been seeing my last love quite often. He tells me that things are on the right track to start seeing each other again. We are practically together already without the title. I still wonder if he’s just keeping me along until he finds someone better. I hope that’s not the case because I and head over heals for him. I just don’t want to get hurt again. I was devastated when he broke up with me this summer. I didn’t eat for a week and I cried when I went to sleep at night and I cried when I woke up the following morning. I don’t want to go through that again. I’m just not strong enough to say this isn’t a good idea. I do want to get back together. I want things to workout. I want him to be sweet to me like he is now. I want that all the time. I think I’m good enough for it. But we will see what happens.

I don’t know where my roommate has been. She hasn’t been at the house in the past 6 weeks, except maybe for a couple of nights. And when I say a couple I mean 2, the exact meaning of the word couple. Hmm. I don’t know.

Well, time for a meeting.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

damn car.

This whole car situation is so frustrating. Today my father informed me that I needed to come out to 280 and sign some documents to complete the loan process. So, on my lunch break I braved the terrible lunch rush traffic. For those of you who don’t know, highway 208 traffic is the worst kind. So, I get to my house and we go to the bank that is doing the loan for us. The lady that my father has been speaking to about this matter had to leave due to an emergency so, another lady had to come in and figure out our situation. We go it all taken care of and everything was signed. Now we can go register my car. I’m getting excited because we have had this car parked in the driveway for a very long time and all I’ve wanted to do is take my new car home. So we get to the DMV and there was no line and three ladies at desks. One lady was already helping someone but the other two were just sitting there. It took them a good minute or two to ask us how they could help… really? Are you kidding me? You aren’t doing anything and I’m here ON MY LUNCH BREAK! I haven’t eaten lunch and I’m pushing two hours. I’M HUNGRY DAMNIT AND MY DAD IS IN A BAD MOOD! Sigh. Anyway, my father explains to the lady that we need to register my car and he tells her that it was totaled. She then asks if we have the documentation stating the total loss so we could get a discount on registration. He said that we have it but it’s at home. She tells him that he could go get it. Mind you, we live literally a minute away. So, he tells her ok and we walk to the car. As soon as we get out of the DMV my father screams F***! There was this lady sitting in her car and she looked at him like he was a complete maniac. I told my dad that I have to get back to work and he tells me to go home and get my moms car and go to work and he will come back and register my car. We say good bye and when he got in and closed the door to his car I heard him totally flip out. Screaming and yelling curse words and banging the steering wheel. I started to laugh because if you know my father you know that he is a very intimidating ex-marine. If you REALLY know my father then you know that he flips out over simple things… ex:

I was about 10 and one morning and my dad had already gotten up and so I crawled into bed with my mom and we heard him scream from downstairs… “ANTS! YOU BASTARDS!” my mom and I just laughed. When we went downstairs, the whole kitchen reeked of Raid.

So, I got in my mother’s car and drove back to work… to sit and sit and sit.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

update. plain and simple

Wow. A lot has happened since I last posted. I actually miss my blog. OK. Lets see what has happened since that last post. I still teach private voice lessons. I have around 11 students. They are all nice and I love to see the improvements they make everyday. One thing I’m not too keen on is that when they decide to miss their lessons they don’t call me. So, I’m left to wait and wonder if they will come or not. Tuesdays are my long teaching days. I have 7 students on that day. Last Tuesday, I had 2 of the 7 show. And the other 5 didn’t feel the need to call and let me know. It is very frustrating. But, I enjoy teaching… when I get to. I don’t work at Victoria’s Secret PINK anymore. I quit because they kept cutting my hours. It was just a real waste of time. I did get that job I interviewed for at UAB but it didn’t turn out to be what I thought it was going to be. They led me to believe that I would get to work 20 hours a week and get paid twelve dollars an hour. Well, I did get paid $12/hr and I did work 20 hours the first week. Then, I only got called to work twice a month. So, for a while I was just living by the seat of my pants. I hadn’t gone grocery shopping in the longest time and had a hard time paying my bills. I was in a rut. It was not a happy time. Then, I totaled my car. I was driving on 20/59 the week before thanksgiving and it was rush hour traffic. I was stopped in the middle lane and some car came up behind me and rammed me into the SUV in front of me. My car is sloped in the front and went right under the SUV. It busted my head lights and bent up my hood. My car was still drivable so, I just drove it until I could call the insurance companies and take care of the mess. I took my car in and the estimated damage was around $3800. Now, my car was a 2001 Saturn. Not an expensive car. So they deemed it totaled. The guy who hit me’s insurance company gave my $4875 to go toward a new car. My uncle works at a dealership in Massachusetts and so he sent me links to his web sit to check out some cars and I picked out a 2005 Toyota Corolla. They shipped it here the Friday before Christmas and I won’t be able to take it home with me until this Wednesday because of legal issues. That whole situation is also very frustrating. Good new did eventually come my why however. My old boss at Medical towers called me and told me that one of the girls I worked with on the LookAHEAD Study (the UAB choir sang at an event they had for the participants in 2008.) had accepted a position at a different job and they needed someone to start immediately. And, since I had worked there before doing basic office work and kind of knew the ropes already I would be a good fit. So I accepted the temporary full-time position as Coordinator Data Collector. It was a God send because right when I thought I was going to have to go back to PINK and try to beg for my job back my old boss called. With this job, I have my own office… with a window view of the parking deck, health benefits… which is awesome because I was paying month to month individual blue. Things are really starting to turn around for me.

Life here at the new office has been really slow because of the holidays. We have no participants to see in clinic, and I don’t really have any participants to call. So, I’ve been trying to fill my time with busy work. But that isn’t working out. I just end up staring at my computer screen. I hope you have enjoyed reading about what I’m up to. Now that I’m not too busy in the office I’ll will try to fill your day with the nonsense in my head.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Life as a post college student.

Having graduated in May with a degree in Music.... where does the story go from there? I went to Europe for two weeks. Exciting. I teach private voice lessons to people ages 5 to 18. Exhausting. I just started working retail at PINK by Victoria's Secret at the Galleria. Not ideal. I went for an interview at UAB's Lung health Center for a research position dealing with asthmatic children and hand hygiene. Interesting. My boss at the music store is starting a Kindermusic program where he wants me to be the teacher who is in-charge of it. Intense. Jenny and I have found a house to live in. YAY!

So, as you can see. I will be living my life pay check to pay check. But, that's the exciting way right? It is the all american way to hold more than three jobs to live. It excites me just thinking about it.

My days now that I am not in school and have a set schedule is very strange to say the least, but it is exciting. I enjoy living with questions. not too many. But, I do enjoy it none the less. I have a feeling that I will miss choir very much. I have been in a choir ever since I can remember. My mom wants me to join the BCC. That may take some contemplation. I know I will miss the UAB choir. I have fond friends and memories. But, we all must let those be at some point in our lives. We can't all come back every time we have a free day. That gives no one time to miss us. I want to be missed. I'm not sure that I will be though. Good luck to all those who audition. I hope you have a great time and fond memories as I have had.

I have been learning guitar. Enough said.

I turn 23 on Sunday. Enough said.

I wish my best friend good luck in law school at LSU!

I will leave with an anonymous quote.

"Life is lived in the present. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is yet to be. Today is the miracle."

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Well, I'm going to run a in the Mercedes Half-marathon.

My friend Kierstyn and I began our training today. We plan to run a 5k in 7 weeks and 10k in 10 weeks. Then, we plan to continue our training to the Mercedes in February.

Races I plan on running:

Graystone 5k
Race for the cure (5k)
Vulcan Run (10k)

Saturday, April 26, 2008

i just need a break

I have been writing this History paper for about four weeks... It is so hard to get things done when you know that you have other things you have to do as well. I moved most of my things home today. I still have a lot of crap still in the dorm. I have to make an A on my history final... ugh... Im stating to have dreams about my trip to Europe and I guess thats the only time my brain will give me to think about it because I know I haven't had time to think about it during the day. I think that when I get on the plane I just may pass out from exhaustion. I will have been up for about 4 days straight. oh yeah, thats right. i don't plan on sleeping from here on until I am on that plane. I know it may sound silly, but you gotta do what you gotta do. this blog may not make sense but i hope you can read it.

I love you and i miss you very much friend!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

I miss you so much!

My last day of classes was yesterday. And, now all I have to worry about is juries on friday, writing two papers before monday, and my Music History final monday and lastly, my Music Theory final on tuesday. and I leave that afternoon! AH I haven't even been able to think about leaving. there is just too much to do here. I think I'm just going to pass out. I miss you and I hope you are having fun in Hawaii!

LOVE YOU!